Monday, June 25, 2018


Evening at Disco's nightclub. Torpedo was back in Atlantis sorting out some political details. Fire of Saturn was at the bar sipping mai-tais. I don't think I ever gave her a real name, but she was in her civilian identity without her armor and stuff this time. I guess I should come up with something. Disco was there because one of his bartenders called in sick and he couldn't find the other one. Chromaticat was supplementing the lights with her own powers and teleporting from mirrorball to mirrorball to beam down at people. Landshark eventually showed up too, since Jay was off in Marvel City being dark and magical.

While they were catching up, they noticed some rough-looking guys in the corner snorting something. Disco left Landshark to cover the bar and went to ask them to take it outside. They were belligerent and took another hit, which made them all grow large and green. Their leader punched Disco, throwing him back against the bar. Disco shouted back "No earth powers!" at Landshark, turned on his aura, and punched back. Landshark joined in the fisticuffs and Fire of Saturn improvised a one-shot missile launcher out of some cleaning equipment and a bottle of Grey Goose. While superhumanly strong, the three hulks were no match for experienced super-heroes... and Chromaticat.

Disco took their wallets and used their credit cards to pay for the repairs to his bar. He also found an unused vial of the green powder they had been snorting and gave it to Fire of Saturn to analyze. Meanwhile, they talked to Officer Vic Broyko, who told them that there had been several incidents of violence involving this new drug, known as MUT-8 (pronounced like "mutate").  He believed it was being smuggled in from Canada.

The next morning, Fire of Saturn called the others in to have a look at her discovery. By trying the drug out on several tanks of guppies from the aquarium upstairs (she would have preferred rats, but couldn't get them on short notice), she had discovered that, rather than developing a tolerance, users became susceptible to a wider range of effects with continual usage. At first, MUT-8 produces a stimulant high with some increased aggression, followed by a period of blissful docility. As usage continued, the drug led to more aggression, and finally transformation. In the case of the guppies, the result was a primitive, spiny sea monster. With humans, of course, you get hulks. She said MUT-8 was not so much a drug, but a kind of live bacterial spore that colonized the host's body. It resembled in many ways the infection of the Gauntlet equipment from Karza's troops.

Calling in a favor with the Beta City police, Disco got himself and Landshark into an interview with the prisoners. Utilizing questionable but effective interrogation techniques, they found out that the drugs came from someone called, "Rudy the Troll" who could be found on a big bridge in the Blight on Lightfoot Island. Knowing something about the area from his youth, Landshark pointed out that there couldn't be too many big bridges still intact, so they already had a good idea where to look.

They found an old suspension bridge across a gorge. Once, a river had gone through it, but now it was full of stagnant water. The bridge itself, while intact, was only attached to its original road at one end. The other had slid down the cliff wall to a ledge below. A crevice in that ledge promised cavernous realms beyond. Noticing that there were no other light sources, Disco rainbowed up and they moved on.

Not far in, they encountered a couple of hulked-up guards. These were a bit harder to beat than the party hulks in the bar, but they still went down. Farther in, they found a big round door. They knocked and Landshark shouted "pizza!" to which a gruff voice from beyond said, "I didn't order a pizza!" They tried a couple of others. I think it came down to Disco shouting "male escort" and being surprised that the answer was, "Come in!" Landshark still shouted, "Candygram!" and punched down the door, though.

Inside, they found a big ole spiny blue-green guy with horns lounging on a cushy U-shaped couch. He said, "You didn't have to knock down the door. It wasn't locked. I got some good cognac and a jug of sangria if you wanna loosen up."

Recognizing that he had an opportunity to play the seductive spy, Disco went to work trying to coax the information they wanted out of Rudy. He was happy to tell them that he didn't make the MUT-8 himself, but felt professionally constrained not to reveal his supplier. It took multiple attempts, finally throwing in Landshark, who added, "I can be a bad shark, or a very bad shark," before the Troll caved and told them what they wanted to know. Then Disco dazzle-blasted him into semi-conscious euphoria flew him off to the police.

The drugs were coming from part of the Forbidden Zone that used to be Texas, so they needed transportation. Fire of Saturn patched up the previously glitchy autopilot and they were off in the Scrapjet. Not far into the Forbidden Zone, they were confronted by a hornetroid. Disco and Landshark ejected to fight it and eventually managed to disable the bio-mechanical monster. Landshark was a little grossed out to learn that it had blood.

Once they reached their designated coordinates, they saw a settlement with several aluminum buildings and smokestacks surrounded by a wooden palisade. The guard towers were manned by gauntlet soldiers. Disco set the autopilot for the center of the settlement, grabbed Landshark, and bailed out. The Scrapjet made its heroic final voyage, despite the attempts of the gauntlet soldiers to shoot it down, and exploded in a terrifying fireball of burning jet fuel and illegal radioactive power boosters (Fire of Saturn is not the most reputable of mechanics), killing everyone there and melting all their stuff.

Disco said, "There weren't any real people down there, right?"

Friday, June 22, 2018

The Origin of Mister Chompers

Rejoining Torpedo at the site of the Chompers expansion,‭ ‬Disco and Landshark found‭ ‬pieces of a robot shark man crawling together to self-assemble.‭ ‬Once whole,‭ ‬the robot turned to Landshark,‭ ‬clanked its teeth,‭ ‬and‭ ‬said,‭ "‬How do you like these chompers,‭ ‬Daddy‭?"

While they fought the ridiculous chomper-shark,‭ ‬he shared his history with the Scrap Pile.‭ Years ago in the 80sVerse, a teenager named Joshua Stern got himself involved with that nasty rock music and D&D. Even after Christian conversion therapy for some potential gayness, he ended up in a Satanic cult, because all that stuff is real in the 80sVerse. His occult dabbling got him thrown through a portal to the end of time where he was rescued by some talking brains. They saved the badly injured Josh, but didn't remember what humans were supposed to look like, so he ended up being rebuilt as, like, just a brain or something.

‭Wandering the void, Josh encountered another fugitive, a powerful alien psi. For reasons that kind of got glossed over, this Overmind agreed to send Josh back to the present. He didn't make it back to the 80sVerse, though, because he got diverted by the seal on the dimensional Nexus in subspace. Instead, he found himself in our universe as a ghostly presence. There, he was able to influence Techmaster to summon the Corrosive Soul.

‭Some of Josh's instructions got garbled, though, which is why Rapture was so obsessed with stealing brains for a while. They were, however, able to help him possess Mr. Chompers because small dogs are really easy for evil spirits to influence. He did this to get close to the body he eventually planned to steal, his counterpart in our universe, Disco. That's also why only Disco and Nimble could hear him.

‭So anyway, they trashed the Chomperbot, and Disco decided his supervillain name should be "Closet Case." As he blew apart, Josh bragged that now he was free to roam the Internet or something.

‭The Scrap Pile returned to base and started putting together a plan to stop Closet Case. Yeah, I don't even remember what name I had given him. They never used it. They brought in Psyclone (remember him from the Anniversary Special?) and got some advice from Pork Chop. They then proceeded to set up an Internet porn site designed to attract and outrage Closet Case so that Psyclone could isolate his signal and trap him in whatever main site he was using. Some of their footage came from recordings Mister Chompers had made of the Scrap Pile.

‭Somehow, despite repeated phone interruptions from a disturbingly enthusiastic Pork Chop, the plan worked. They tracked Closet back to the old Weatherhead building where Ruby and the shrunken bones guy had been hanging out. That place is like a magnet for evil, seriously.

‭There, they fought some robot guards and some demons and finally found Closet himself forming into a new, giant robot body. They fought him for a while, then Disco kissed Landshark and the robot's head exploded. Because Closet was trapped there by Psyclone, that was the end of him.

‭Epilogue: Everybody was sitting around the base. Mister Chompers, now free of crazy spirits, hopped onto Landshark's lap. Disco walked by and saw the dog wink at him.