Sex and Candy

Hanging around the base, Landshark wanted to go check on Disco, so he and Torpedo took the Minivan of Justice to his bar, Glitter Balls, while Eye Candy stayed behind to keep an eye on the monitors. The bar was subdued because it was still daytime, but Jay was there. Upon seeing Landshark, he immediately jumped the bar, kissed the bartender, and ran out the back. Landshark followed him.

Meanwhile, Eye Candy saw a police report about a robbery at Abercrombie & Fitch. Most of the perpetrators had escaped, but the police had one guy cornered and were hesitant to move in because he had super-powers. He called Torpedo, who told him to go ahead and check it out while he collected Landshark.

Eye Candy flew to the scene and talked to the cops, who told him the guy was in an abandoned building down that alley. They had him surrounded, but were hesitant to move in because he shot antlers at them and seemed to be bulletproof. Hoping to make a good impression on his new teammates, Eye Candy went in without waiting for Torpedo and Landshark.

After negotiation failed, Eye Candy blew the door in with his telekinesis. Inside, he found a guy with a stag head who did, in fact, shoot antlers at him. The villain identified himself as Achy Breaky Hart. (Get it?) Eye Candy threw Hart back against the wall, which caused him to explode, damaging the building and throwing Eye Candy back. Hart reformed behind Eye Candy just as Torpedo and Landshark arrived.

Torpedo lava-stretched over and punched Hart while Landshark threw some rubble at him with his earth power. The heat didn't seem to affect Hart at all, and the combined attack caused him to explode again and reappear, uninjured, out in the alley, where he ran towards the cops.

Realizing that hitting Hart wasn't going to help, Landshark grabbed his leg with an earth shark. This held him in place until the police saw him and started shooting, making him explode again and reappear atop a neighboring building. There, Eye Candy picked him up with his TK and spun him around until he passed out. The superhuman task force took custody and the Scrap Pile went back to their headquarters.

Back at HQ, Landshark found a note from Jay that he was leaving to "figure some things out" and was sorry for hurting him. Landshark remained convinced that Jay was being mind controlled. Eye Candy began a series of "consolations" which sounded more like jabs. Torpedo, loving that Eye Candy acknowledged him as team leader, let it go.

Getting back to work, the team reviewed the footage of the robbery. There was no sound, but they could see Achy Breaky Hart, a woman in a skimpy pastel outfit who seemed to be able to make people dizzy, a man with a light-absorbing black aura and a bit of Kirby crackle, and a guy in a silver and black costume who seemed to be calling the shots. Eye Candy thought the woman looked familiar from his modeling career.

Checking out the police interviews, Torpedo found out that the leader was called Rayve, while the others were Careless Whisper and Black Hole Sun. Eye Candy looked through his old catalogs and found someone he was pretty sure was Careless Whisper, an heiress/model named Cassandra Halo. He also remembered her bragging often about owning an island on Lake Mohawk. Eye Candy said to Torpedo, "An island, sir! We'll be in your element!"

Eye Candy flew himself and Landshark in folding chairs while Torpedo took to the water. Landshark wore floaties and a swim vest, but assured Eye Candy he wasn't afraid of water or anything like that. The island was mostly a big rock sticking out of the water with the mansion high above. Torpedo went to the pier while Eye Candy and Landshark landed on the beach on the other side.

Torpedo crept up and pulled the fuel lines on the two boats, then confronted the security guards. He tried to get them to let him pass as Prince of Atlantis, but the guards said the Prime Minister of Atlantis was here last week and even he made an appointment. Torpedo punched them and, though he did get shot once, took them out fairly quickly.

Land Shark decided to just tunnel his way in, and opened up a passage in the rock for himself and Eye Candy. Before tunneling up toward the house, they found a large cavern filled with machinery and several levels of catwalks around a central pool full of cyber-sharks. A group of guards clad in glittery skin-tight suits saw them and started firing lasers.

Torpedo walked to the front door, where he met a butler dressed in short-shorts, a bowtie, faux cuffs, and not much else. He tried to bluff his way in and the butler asked him to wait while he checked with Ms. Halo. Impatient with all these delays, he punched out the butler and started yelling up the stairs for Cassandra, who soon arrives with two glitterguards.

Eye Candy hurled Landshark across the pool at one of the guards so he could get into the fight without bringing down the cavern. While they fought, another guy came in, saw what was going on, and suddenly turned solid black, revealing himself as Black Hole Sun. He gestured and cranked the gravity up to eleven, flattening even his own henchmen.

Torpedo's conversation with Cassandra got ugly, and eventually a fight broke out. She got him first, saying, "You're never gonna dance again," and making him feel all wobbly (draining Coordination). As pretty much everyone already knew, she was really Careless Whisper. Torpedo threw off the effect and took a swing at her, but a defensive use of her power reduced it to a glancing blow. The guards also fired their lasers, though, knocking Torpedo out.

Eye Candy used his TK to drag Black Hole Sun, who was unaffected by his own gravity manipulation, into the pool and submerge him. Sun immediately released the gravity effect, then applied it in reverse to the water around him, causing it and the sharks to fly up to the ceiling. Landshark leaped across the void and punched Sun, although his blow was only partially effective and it felt like his fist was sinking into another dimension.

Eye Candy slammed them both into the wall, startling Black Hole Sun sufficiently to release the water, which all came down around him and Landshark. (Eye Candy actually used his TK to make sure it all went back into the pool.) Landshark freaked out and cut loose with an earthquake. The cavern collapsed, which caused all the openings above it to collapse, which also destroyed the house. Eye Candy and Landshark were able to protect themselves, but lots of other people were hurt.

Eye Candy called EMS and they were able to prevent any deaths, although there were lots of serious injuries. They found and arrested an unconscious Careless Whisper, got Torpedo, and helped with the cleanup. They didn't find any sign of Black Hole Sun.

Eye Candy made it clear that Landshark had not told him about his phobia and suggested that Landshark might not be fit for active duty.